witty one liners about life

Herman said, "It's not just one car. 41. All rights reserved. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous, 17. To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. 101 Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh, Julianne Hough Looks Fierce in a Naked Dress. There are too many witnesses for me to tell you what I really think. "There is no such thing as fun for the whole family." the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. Not only will you receive praise for introducing an amazing team building activity, but youll also get plenty of fun facts you can use to laugh with (and maybe at) your teammates. A: There are plenty of good icebreaker jokes for a work meeting. 19. It is normal and easy to fall into the trap of autopilot and feels overwhelmed by lifes stresses, so why not take a break, have a read, and then share your favorite witty one-liners on life with loved ones to brighten their day. Do people, and humor, there's so plenty time. "Sandra Bullock, 74. Weve also snuck in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned. 52. The insomnia patient was such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence. Sign up for our weekly newsletters and get: By signing in, you agree to our Terms and Conditions No one is you and that is your super power. Unknown, 19. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says 'Plethora.'. Life is a question and how we live it is our answer. Gary Keller, 10. Leaders who dont listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say. Andy Stanley, 26. If I tell you I want to be a door-to-door salesman, dont knock it. Jarod Kintz, 46. Theyll be able to feel your authenticity. Look for opportunities in every change in your life. Meir Liraz, 36. If they're OK, then it's you." Once you get that key point across, your audience will likely listen to everything else you have to say. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one. Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, 57. Short Witty Captions and Quotes. The difference between a hippo and a Zippo is that one is heavy and the other is a little lighter. "Kevin Malone, The Office, 21. Rita Mae Brown, 35. Whether you're having a bad day or know someone who could use a little cheering up, laughter really is the best medicine plus, there are so many ways to tickle your funny bone. The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. "Lucille Ball, 42. "Isaac Asimov, 18. Question:Why did the chicken cross the road?Answer: To prove to the opossum that it could be done. I asked her why she drew the eyebrows that high and she seems surprised! Where does a winemaker get his gossip? One liner tags: people, puns. The people who live above me are furious. (Steven Wright), 3) I heard a story that the band Blink-182 incorporated under the name Poo Poo Butt LLC to embarrass their accountants in serious conversations., 4) I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? The more you love the least deserving on your list, the more your life will change. Mike Dooley, 47. Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. Soren Kierkegaard, 24. "I hate housework. Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry-erase board has to be the most remarkable. A: The same qualities that make a standard joke funny make an icebreaker joke funny. What is the sound of no-hands texting? Luckily, this is not difficult." "It is not easy being a mother. People who are clever are gifted with the art of turning complex situations to their favor. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. Did you hear about the circus fire? I'm great at multitasking. 80. Live the life you love. Bob Marley, 23. "Never go to bed mad. Ayatollah. "If at first you don't succeed, try management . Joan Rivers, 94. He just wanted a little more space. "I've had great success being a total idiot. Spread some happiness with these. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass." "The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen." 4. This is my stepladder. "Life is short. .css-2ahkpt{display:block;font-family:Brandon,Helvetica,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.5rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-2ahkpt:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.375rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 48rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}Julianne Hough Looks Fierce in a Naked Dress, Leann Rimes Shares Video Montage for Anniversary, Crazy Rules 'Jeopardy' Contestants Have to Follow, Watch Kelly Clarkson's Cover of Taylor Swift Song. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. "As you get older, three things happen. Whats Irish and stays out all night? I dont know, but its flag is a big plus! (Best Life). One bad chapter does not mean your story is over. Going hungry during your next meeting. (David Letterman)), Gives people an acceptable way to release their feelings on socially inappropriate topics, such as anger, bodily functions, online dating, or even the misfortunes of others. "Everybody wants to save the earth. Nothing. "Paula Poundstone, 85. And that's just in the hot dogs. Instead of taking it out on them, read these funny co-worker quotes to commiserate. I can't believe no one has managed to come up with a cure for . This morning I was staring at my naked body in the mirror and thought. "Garry Shandling, 36. Then I want to move in with them." Elbert Hubbard, 6. Do these genes make me look fat?. The way I see it, id you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. Dolly Parton, 20. 91. "Well, you know what they say: If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me." All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today and yesterday. You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. But they don't really know me. Heres a brief summary: These workplace greetings have become such a commonplace part of our lives, theyre practically rhetorical. My friend gave me his EpiPen as he was dying. Intelligence is like an underwear. "Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face." ], 2) I threw a boomerang a few years ago. Persist while others are quitting. William Arthur Ward, 45. Shoutout to anyone wondering what the opposite of in is. What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. Wanting to be someone else, is a waste of who you are. Kurt Cobain, 16. Sometimes a humorous quip can help everyone relax. 1. Go ahead and underestimate me. 22. Through the grapevine. 82. " Charles M. Schulz, 13. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off. I refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there. Your coffee break partner. "I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. 2. About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends., It is a good thing to learn caution from the misfortunes of others., You cant belay a man whos falling in love. ~ Edward Abbey, A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A large fortune. So, 'Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive' is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh. I now live in constant fear. Life is like homemade ice cream: sweet and seasonal. News_of_Entwives: The shovel really was a groundbreaking invention. 42. Dolly Parton, 45. "People say, How you stay looking so young? I say, well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup." 60. Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. Robert H. Schiuller, 67. These interesting quotes on being clever are divided into these sections; Dont raise your voice, improve your argument. Unknown, Work hard in silence, let success make the noise. Frank Ocean clever quotes, Everybody is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes. Edgard Varse quotes about cleverness, Clever tyrants are never punished. Voltaire. A pun for every season of the year. Sometimes you need to indulge the sense of humor of *LIFE*. "Luis Buuel, 49. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Laughter. Sarah Brown, 98. 'Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive' is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh. My son is now an entrepreneur. Thats what youre called when you dont have a job. Ted Turner. Originally Published: Oct. 7, 2019. 93. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? ] [Jerry Seinfeld uses this technique. If your carriage turns into a pumpkin, call an Uber. 99. Get Your Free Icebreaker Questions Bundle. Enjoy! 2. Then turn to these bad jokes that you cant help but laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids. Last night, I was driving, and I turned into a driveway. (Wiley). Attire. "Albert Einstein, 16. Fields, 4. 62. ~ Tallulah Bankhead, "Never argue with a woman when she's tiredor when she's rested. Apparently, you cant use beefstew as a password. "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. 25. 28. "Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don't have a single thing to worry about. 2023 LoveToKnow Media. I saw a sign that said, "Watch for children," and I thought, I'll never forget my grandfather's last word to me before he kicked the bucket. I like the name Brie, but it's a little cheesy. So did everyone else on the submarine., 3) Heres a funny fact: Nicolas Cage once purchased an octopus to help him with his acting., 4) You know you must be doing something right if old people like you. (Dave Chappelle), 5) How much does a polar bear weigh? "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well. Roy Sutton. St. Patrick's Day puns that totally sham-rock. Model that is, live the behavior you want others to practice. Mario Morino, 58. 10. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got. R. Brault, 41. Why is Monday so far away from Friday and Friday so bloody close to Monday? Anonymous. "Would I rather be feared or loved? Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Here, we've rounded up a variety of the best Father's Day gifts (and gag gifts) that are just as hilarious as all of his one-liners and quips. Has someone been kidnapped? Looking for inspirational quotes about being clever? To get to the other side. He has pills he can take, but he cant get them out of the bottle. Appropriate and hilarious. "Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance? Iconic funny movie quotes from fan favorites and cult classics like Elf, Coming to America, Mean Girls, Legally Blonde, The Big Lebowski, and more have . Because they have two left feet. We appreciate any shares on Pinterest if you love our work! How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? The world owes you nothing. Take a scroll through these inspirational quotes. Yes! My friends keep pressuring me to go spelunking, so I finally caved. For example, you could use a popular Jerry Seinfeld technique and say, Have you ever noticed and fill in the blank with something funny or ridiculous youve observed lately. 27. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: You wouldnt have a job if he was any smarter. John Gotti, 15. The secret to life is to love who you are warts and all. David DeNotaris, 39. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. Unknown, 49. Robert Frost. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? 21. 1) I used to work at McDonalds making minimum wage. A happy soul is the best shield for a cruel world. Atticus, 75. It came from sushi recipes., 3) Why do people park in a driveway but drive on a parkway?, 4) Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? (Robin Williams), 5) Nowadays, comedians tell the news and the media tells the jokes., 6) A player asked his golf coach: What is going wrong with my game? The coach replied, Youre standing too close to the ball after youve hit it. (Golf Workout Program), 7) Housework wont kill you. "Joan Rivers, 5. My foot. She graduated with an individualized major in Comparative Literary and Cultural Studies from the University of Connecticut. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Obsessed with travel? Whos there? Grab your favorites for greeting cards, social media captions, or even just to print and hang above your desk to serve as a little reminder that life's not that serious and were all much better off laughing so we don't cry! "I always cook with wine. But I want the ones with truffle and peanut butter. BBLTHRW. You must believe your joke is funny if you hope others will find it funnykind of like you (hopefully) wouldnt use pick up lines that have no chance of at least earning a wry smile. These funny quotes about life provide inspiration and entertainment, along with ways to express your experiences. 97. Valentine's Day puns that are simply the zest. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Looking for more than just trust falls? Best Employee Engagement Software Platforms For High Performing Teams [HR Approved] I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin, 50. One liner tags: people, puns. I just bought these shoes from my drug dealer. 34. Looking for more inspiration? 1. 86. Question:What do you call a fish with no eye?Answer: FSH. Im not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues. Franklin D. Roosevelt, 29. Missile toe. Even if you love your job, it can be difficult to face another daunting workweek. The Best Employee Recognition Software Platforms Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. He thought he was God and I didnt.Men are like toilets. One. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? "Ann Landers, 80. The adventure of life is to learn. Outlaws are wanted. "Oscar Wilde, 14. Dive into the categories below and make sure to add more of your own in the comments below. Manage Settings Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. I love my furniture. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. While humor is no science, some experts, including comedians and scientists, have isolated characteristics that consistently make jokes funny. "I have a lot of growing up to do. Pretty women go shopping." When he talks, it isnt a conversation. 98. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Charlie Brown, 8. Does this taste funny to you?. Never mind, I shouldnt spread it. (Best Life), 5) Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Find even more icebreaker jokes in. 59. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? Yeah, they got him on possession. Whether you need to allow you have some usernames cute and one of man writes hilarious profiles in the number one liners. Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? Elementary. Up until then, you are just doing research. Carl Gustav Jung, 5. "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true." A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home: "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, please be careful!" And if they would, I do not do that thing." Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. , A long life may not be good enough, but a good life is long enough. ~ Benjamin Franklin. "Life is pleasant. Seriously Awesome Gifts For Coworkers A gummy bear. The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when youre finished. Groucho Marx, 45. But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot. These 101 funny quotes from comedians, movies, authors, and TV look at the hilarious side of life. That's one of my mottos. Everything you can imagine is real. Pablo Picasso, 65. It was in tents. Because, really, nothings better than a big belly laugh to start your week off right. Your email address will not be published. Pro-tip #3: Champion humor in your workplace by using an employee recognition platform such as Nectar to provide peer-to-peer rewards for making others laugh or smile. Now theyre hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set. 1. 89. Control freak. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. If Im gonna tell a real story, Im gonna start with my name. Kendrick Lamar, 60. What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? There are days one should really just sleep through. You will never get out of it alive." I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing. I'm great at multitasking. 36. When a woman gets up people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen., A woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. A Gigantic Collection of Entertainment Cliparts and Illustrations, 22 Types of Highly Annoying People You See in Movie Theaters, Here Are Some Of The Best Animated Disney Movies, The Catchiest Pop Songs From The Early 2000s Youll Want To Repeat, The Best 80s Movies To Stream This Weekend. Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany. Death is peaceful. Why did the chicken go to the seance? Helps people understand one another via insight or perspective on the current social environment. Sayings. Truvy Jones, Steel Magnolias, 43. "I'm not offended by blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off. Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? On the other hand, you have different fingers. Man invented the alarm clock. Pablo Picasso, 6. "If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.Reese Witherspoon, 86. Everyones eyes glaze over before youve even warmed up. We provide a monthly, curated selection of healthy snacks from the hottest, most innovative natural food brands in the industry, giving our members a hassle-free experience and delivering joy to their offices. I love deadlines. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice., 3) Did you know that there are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones?, 4) Did you hear the rumor about butter? Theres no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. David Letterman, 44. Think of your three best friends. Turn that frown upside down with these hilarious sayings about life, love, friendship, and work. I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did. What happens to an illegally parked frog? The hard part is getting them into the light bulb. You know what your boss was trying to say? POST. Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? Enjoy. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would." - Tom Robbins. Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done. Peter Drucker, 24. "Crying is for plain women. There's a fine line between hyphenated words. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. Interested in a content partnership? Turns out, he just locked me in the closet.). There were a couple of no-shows, but I still had fun. Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? Show me a man who is a good loser, and Ill show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. Jim Murray. Enjoy! Why arent dogs good dancers? They made me smile and I'm confident a few of them will brighten your day too. Heres a funny fact: Nicolas Cage once purchased an octopus to help him with his acting. It wont be long before they start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches. Check out our collections of cheesy pickup lines and our ever-popular dad jokes. Funny work quotes are some of the only things strong enough to fight off the Sunday Scariesby joking about Monday morning, of course. Cheers! Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. So brunettes can remember them. the salamander who went to Hollywood to make newt movies? ' Don Marquis. Life is not a fairy tale, if you lose your shoe at midnight, youre drunk. Unknown, 18. '"Groucho Marx, 31. Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls, 46. 14. Witty Quotes to Sharpen Your Cleverness "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye!!!! When you love people and have a desire to make a profound, positive impact upon the world, then you will have accomplished the meaning of life Sasha Azevedo, 15. and Drink two of them and youll forget what your Namath. What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke? Luckily, the folks at Caroo have curated their very own Icebreaker Box to help kickoff your event with a little bit of snacking, team building, and maybe even an adult beverage . "Instant gratification takes too long. 95. Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. "Sir Norman Wisdom, 50. "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behaviour decides who stays in your life. Unknown, 26. "Don't take life so seriously, you will not get out alive." - Elbert Hubbard 3. Steven Wright. Whatever you do in life, do it with enthusiasm. I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. "Don't waste so much time thinking about how much you weigh. I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Bill Gates, 30. Now that I made it weird, Im going to make my exit Unknown, 42. "Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company. "Life is short. Required fields are marked *. Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. "My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. "Judith Martin, 62. "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." 84.04 % / 304 votes. Roses are red, violets are blue; white wine costs less than a dinner for two. She can tell you everything you need to know about the love lives of A-listers, the coziest bedsheets, and the sex toys actually worth your $$$. Looking for a funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that underlies many facets of life? I gave him a glass of water. "A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so . By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day. Robert Frost, 20. Now that I have children, I understand the scene in Return of the Jedi where Yoda is so tired of answering Lukes questions, he just up and dies., People Also Ask These Questions About Icebreaker Jokes, Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Reporting on what you care about. .the best teachers educate young people for life, not school. Ira Socol, 51. "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. Mornings contain the secret to an extraordinarily successful life. Hal Elrod, 32. When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. Eleanor Roosevelt, 26. Every of the time! Kevin Malone, The Office, 32. These quotes are not only funny, they are also pretty clever and witty. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. "You can't have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage worth ethic. It's the transition that's troublesome. First impressions matter, and wed like to say nobodys judging you, but you know, theyre certainly paying attention to you. Question:What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?Answer: OK you two dont start anything. Don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. The best funny one-liners Shutterstock "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." "It's never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the ground. Be sure to check out these funny graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life as well. I did an original sin. -David Letterman, If I glance over, its not because I dont care, its because I can't remember anything. "Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart." - Ross Perot "The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." - George Carlin "There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them." - Lawrence Welk "All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed." - Sean O'Casey Thoughtful Employee Appreciation Ideas "Never miss a good chance to shut up.". Life without coffee is like something without somethingsorry, I havent had any coffee yet. Unknown, 6. The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'". You can even source a complete bank of surprising and hilarious facts about your teammates using Water Cooler Trivia. Recent Posts. We have rounded up the best collection of clever quotes, sayings, captions, and status, (with images and pictures) to inspire you to deal with real-life situations intelligently. 92. People without self-awareness go through life simply reacting out of habit. John C. Allen, 7. The first few lines of a speech are like little teasers. I organized a threesome last night. To prove he wasnt a chicken. He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. Use fun and funny facts about your team to break the ice at your next meeting. An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. Niels Bohr, 16. "An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max. You dont know anyone, however, if you tell the right joke, you might find yourself feeling like youve known everyone for years. I just want to eat." Men marry women hoping they will not. What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? The desire to live a purposeful life, I truly believe, resides in all humans. Paulo Braga, 22. They are not only hilarious, but can help send the sarcastic remarks and messages in a light way. "Marcelene Cox, 97. People say I'm condescending. 70. You stand up in front of a large group. If at first you dont succeed, try management. Anonymous, 21. Looking for some witty and humorous one-liners on life? Ouiser Boudreaux, Steel Magnolias, 24. From life's many lessons, struggles and joys to the always interesting realities of life, you might find the perfect words in these funny life quotes, including some on the topic of family. ", "Most men prefer looks to brains, because most men see better than they think. And if these arent enough, check out some uplifting inspirational quotes thatll add some extra motivation to your workweek. "Do these genes make me look fat?" 3. 90% of the things I worry about never happen. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. Michael Scott, The Office, 15. "Carrie Fisher, 70. Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. Funny One Liners. "Mae West, 11. Oscar Wilde, 92. The results of any quiz can be a gold mine for customized joke material that hits with your audience (a.k.a co-workers) because it was designed specifically for (and maybe even incorporates) your audience. 7. 14) When in doubt, mumble. I want to receive exclusive email updates from YourDictionary. A polar bear. I changed my password to "incorrect". Browse these Monday memes until you laugh (or cry), then check out some Friday memes to end your week on the right foot. the New York Jets cocktail? She kept running away from the ball. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame Unknown, 54 Change the game, dont let the game change you. Macklemore There is no life as complete as the life that is lived by choice. Shad Helmstetter, 55. A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. Of course I wouldnt say anything about her unless I could say something good. 38. 60 British insults for getting your message across 04/19/2023; 15 witty quotes by Joan Rivers to .

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