ron white if you quit listening i'll shut up transcript

But she was well within my budget. Im on the back porch of the church, eating my little sandwich, six years old, drinking my Kool-Aid. One anything has the potential to become a DUI checkpoint if you crash your car into it. Always has been. You were right! password | 846 views, 6 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Power Trip: Lil' B and Meatsauce take on Justin Gaard and. So we walk up to Knob Cobblers, or whatever the fuck the name of it was. Baby goose pussy [tripping over his tongue] makes wagyu beef taste like boot leath boot All right, Im gonna rewrite this sentence. Or didnt use to, anyhow. Im like, Im through it. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Where is Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up streaming? Cause I dont care if shes a little salty. You can get married now if youre gay, anywhere in America, thats fine with me. Moxy and her colorful friends leave Uglyville on a quest to find a kid to love. Thats the worst thing you can be as a little kid is a fucking bed-wetter. Ron White..Spa Day..If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut up..Reaction! Thats why. Put down that ketchup and drop that toddler. I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, Ill send somebody over from Maintenance, Im like Knock on the door, its a chick from Maintenance. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. that does it for me tonight, thanks for spending part of your saturday with us. You got to quit eating them babies, maam. I could piss like a fucking fire hydrant. I have sleep apnea, which keeps my wife awake. They also say friends dont let friends drive drunk. First big gig we did together was the first week in December 1996 at the MGM Grand in Vegas. Im like, What do I even do? Required fields are marked *. No other fucking animal does this. Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama \"If you quit listening, i'll shut up\", y que se estren en Netflix el 16 de Octubre de 2018.Muchos chistes machistas y muchas groseras, pero un comediante que es un Sandy y que sale a escena con un vaso de whisky y un puro. When my dog gets out of the yard, gets in the street, hes like, Oh fuck! Two years ago, White co-starred in Cameron Crowes one-and-done season of Roadies for Showtime. Another service they offer at this spa is a thing called vaginal rejuvenation. How about a sobriety contest? These are two broke fucking fingers. The newest one thats not very new, but its the newest one. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Watch trailers & learn more. If you tilt that a little bit, you can get it through that door. The money sadly aint much better for aspiring stand-ups in 2018 than it was some two or three decades earlier for White. Its a dating website and I actually saw another dating website that made me think of mine. If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up opens with soundbites from White's previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and fortune has changed. Coming Soon, Regal Not two eyeholes like those other sluts. I dont know how strong they were. 13,103, This story has been shared 7,786 times. Yeah! No sabemos si las ancdotas son ciertas o es todo parte de la rutina, pero sea como fuere, la balanza se inclina 3 a 0 a favor, razn por la cual tens que ver este especial ;)Hasta el prximo episodio Gracias por ver! Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Cause I dont have the answer to a lot of lifes questions. Great big, old big uns. And Im driving, and I look ahead, and theres a sobriety checkpoint and Im like Fuck Which is what you say when you see a sobriety checkpoint. Coming Soon. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. CatherineBridget86886758. 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. While I was in Canada shooting a fucking pilot! In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up I was in Melbourne, Florida, one time and I was driving a rental car, and I was by myself, and Id had two drinks. Im like, Oh! Netflix uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. [cheering] So I decide, Well, Ill just do it myself, so I rummage around in the dark, find some lotion, cut to the next morning. Weve tried everything that there is. Im out of here. So Ive just driven from Dallas to Sacramento to make $400. Lets go to this thing. But let me tell you something, folks. Tiger doesnt get any credit for all that pussy he turned down, and thats the number youre looking for right there. I have a back-up plan to curtail the goose population in America. And I double snotted my own fucking television. And the guys over there still think theyre hot. I know theyre perfectly content to live the way they do. Well, I got stationed at Pearl Harbor. And now when I approach a toilet, and the lid doesnt automatically open, I just piss all over the top of it. And the punchline of that story is, I come back to the States, when I get back to the States, my assistant goes, Ron, did you hear that John Mayhew died? And Im like, John Mayhew Why do I know that name? Its your ex-wifes divorce lawyer. [laughing quietly] Oh, I hated that motherfucker. One of these treatments is a thing called anal bleaching. Id help you move it out, but Im bleeding. Ron White..Spa Day..If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut up..Reaction!! Theyre doing whatever the fuck they want to do whenever the fuck they want to do it. Vaginal rejuvenation. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up He likes them big big. Now the reason I know this term is, I have lesbian friends too. This is what this DJ says to me: Ron Every time a celebrity calls our station, we always ask the same question: If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? And I said Living. And he tried to explain it to me. It happened a long time ago, which doesnt fucking matter. You guys are amazing. Whats he doing? Joe Rogan with Ron White on Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia & Stealing Jokes From Comedians! And not because if somebody was breaking into our house, they would make a bunch of noise and scare those people away, because you couldnt possibly wake them up. Golden Corral? I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. Even when he forgets a line he's funny, he's never panicking, on the contrary he'll make it even funnier. [high-pitched] Thats all. Here's When It Returns With New Episodes, Drew Barrymore Halts Segment After "Severely Old" Mac and Cheese Noodle Flies off Her Desk: "It's Rock Hard". I didnt lose my virginity until I was 18 years old, and I was in the Navy stationed in San Diego, and I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Tijuana, Mexico, who was overweight,and her teeth had no general direction or color. I really do. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. Shut up, youre supposed to shut up. 3,036, This story has been shared 2,003 times. Jeff? Thats why. But when somebody breaks into our house now, they discover that all of our things have been chewed up and pissed on. That aint drunk at all. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. And these guys are laughing and dancing and drinking, and theyre having a fucking blast. And we go out that night, it was one of the funnest nights of my life, uh We had been friends for ten years, so we were young comics together, and thats whatwe used to talk about as young comics. Fuck it. His jokes are cynical, full of satire and sarcasm and that's what makes it good. And word of that spreads throughout the criminal community. We decided to break it up, and Vegas will make you horny if you let it. And if youre all politically correct, dont worry. Three weeks ago, my wife and I went to New York City, and we went to a gay wedding, and it was a man marrying a woman, [laughing] but it was the gayest fucking thing Ive ever seen. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018| Maturity Rating:TV-MA | 1h 3m| Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 Directed by Tom Forrest Synopsis Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. These places are packed to the fucking rafters at 2:30 in the afternoon, seven days a week. lindsey? All right. This conversation got so goddamn out of hand. Its like you were waiting in line for two hours to ride a roller coaster and it finally shows up and the seats are kinda bumpy and worn out. Nothing could make this better. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 18+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. It was a demo when I bought it, had 350 yards already on it, but I put the other 400 yards on it myself. And I was there with a woman I couldnt stand eventually. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. Its got 750 yards on it. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. and the I ordered the movie. I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. Thats it. Based in NYC but will travel anywhere for the scoop: Ice cream or news. If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? He goes, I want you to stand on one foot, raise the other foot No, bullshit. We go back to OLearys Pub where this whole fucking thing started. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Its just the words they say, whatever the fuck they say just cracks me the fuck up. Now Ive got questions. Thats something we dreamed about and it fucking happened. I got to what? Tasted strong. Anyway I was a bed-wetter, and I was mortified by it. Television?. [silly voice] Just lunch and a blowjob! Lady in the first show goes, Whats in it for the woman? Im like, Lunch. [high-pitched] Its just lunch. Theres an opening act that makes between 100 and 200 a week for nine shows, the feature act, which is what I was, makes between 400 and 500 bucks a week for nine shows, and a headliner who can make absolutely anything depending on who they are. Nonbinary 'Yellowjackets' Star Liv Hewson Is Sitting out of Emmy Season Over Gendered Categories, 'Yellowjackets' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Digging the Antler Queen, Drew Barrymore Admits She's "Not Sure" She's "Drawn to the Manscaper" on 'The Drew Barrymore Show': "I Love Funk", Drew Barrymore Opens up About Up Close and Personal Interview Style: "I Feel This Magnetic Pull", Why Isn't 'The Drew Barrymore Show' on Today? 1:03:21.

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